Never knowing at all
by cherry sk8er
Summary: Sakura and Syaoran have been going out. But Sakura notice that Syaoran didn't seem to love her no more. He just started to give her these dolls, and she didn't know why......till it was too late. [one-shot] this is in Sakura's p.o.v though. plz rr!.


Never knowing at all  
  
Me and Syaoran grew up together. I always considered him a friend. Always there for me, until last year. We went on a trip, and fell in love with him. Once the trip was over, i took up all my courage and told him how i felt. After that we became a pair, a couple, we were together. But we loved each other in different ways.  
  
I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…"Hey Syaoran, you want to go and watch a movie?" i asked "i can't" he said "Why? You have to stay home?" i asked disapointed "Im meeting up with some friends of mine"   
  
He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. Although he was very popular amongest the girls, to him, I was just a girlfriend. The word 'love' only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say 'I love you' before. To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all. He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why…   
  
Then one day…"Um..Syaoran...I.." i said "What..dont drag, just say" he said back "I love you" i said ".......You....um, just take this doll and go home". That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many… Then one day came, my 15th birthday.   
  
When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn't call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me   
  
and woke me from my sleep. "Sakura, come outside" He told me to come out of the house.   
  
Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily. "Syaoran..." i said "Here take this" he said handed me this little doll again "What's this?" i said confused "I didn't give it to you yesterday, so i am giving it to you now. I have to go now.Bye" he said "Wait! wait!. Don't you know what today is?" i asked "Today?..huh?"   
  
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted…   
  
"Wait…" " You have something to say? Syaoran said "Tell me, tell me you love me…" i said "what?!" he said sounding confused "Tell me" i said as I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left. "I don't want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you   
  
are desperate to hear it, then find someone else." That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb…and I collapsed to the ground. He   
  
didn't want to say it easily…   
  
How could he…. I felt that maybe he is not the right guy for me. After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That's how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday.   
  
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw Syaoran on the street…with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell…   
  
I thought that these dolls were probably picked out by some other girls… In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was Syaoran. "Come out to the bus stop" he said. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it's going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.   
  
"Sakura, I thought you were pissed, you really came? he said. I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…"I don't need it" i said "What….why…" He said. I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road. "I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again!" i yelled as i spatted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.   
  
"I'm sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll… "Your stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!" i yelled again. But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then… *Honk~ Honk*. With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him. "Syaoran! Move! Move away!" I shouted… But he didn't hear me  
  
He squatted down and picked doll. "Syaoran, move!" *HONK*!! "Boom!" That sound, so terrifying. That's how he went away from me. That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out.   
  
I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…   
  
"One…two… three…" That was how… I started to count the dolls… "Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…" It all ended with 485 dolls. I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly… "I love you~, I love you~" I dropped the dolls,shocked. "I….lo..ve…you??" I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach. "I love you~ I love you~" "It can't be!" i said in shock.  
  
I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side. "I love you~" "I love you~" "I love you~" Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn't I realize that…. That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn't I realize that he love me this much…   
  
I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much… "Sakura…Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Sakura… I love you…"   
  
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last   
  
minute…I knew it was too late, to late say sorry, to be with him, and to be in his arms again.  
  
The end.  
  
So how was that?....hoped you liked it....r+r...my friend found this idea, and thought i could use it so, thanxz!..[im sure u want to stay nameless =D ] well plz dont forget to r+r. cherry sk8er! 


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